3 Steps to Navigate through Anxious Moments
I am a true Virgo (that's how I feel at least).
If you are into Astrology, you might know these are some of the characteristics of Virgo - Analytical Mind. Practical. Stable.
However, Virgo is also one of the most complex zodiac signs. They tend to overthink, overanalyse, overly critical, especially toward themselves. They are holding high expectations (including unrealistic ones) and only want to show the calm and collected version of themselves to the world while trying to calm the entire turbulence inside them.
As I grow older, I realize I am a true Virgo in every way. It’s common for people to tell me,
“ Why are you thinking so much ?”.
As if I was digging my own holes, spreading salt on my pains and frustration to only find myself crying over the pain that I have just caused.
So I have 2 choices here - either continue live in denial thinking it’s fine to be that way or accept and turn it to my advantage.
I have learned to live with my critical mind better with time. Instead of letting run wildly, I learn to catch it on time. Yes, I still miss it at times but that’s okay, I am getting better at it! I learn to face, accept and love my flaws. And that’s when the magic happened. I transformed it.
Every time when I catch myself staying loose and letting it creep through unexpectedly, I learn to be kind to myself instead of drilling into my mistakes and replaying those scenarios a thousand times.
Here are the 3 steps that I use in navigating around anxiety and self-doubt moments -
It is so easy to turn into frustration when things are not going well in your way and at that moment, the first person that we turn to bully is ourselves. So next time if you catch yourself feeling overwhelmed with your own feelings, take a step back. Face it. Acknowledge it.
Yes, I am feeling frustrated / overthink/ overanalyze.
Things could be wrong but things could be right.
Whatever it is, this is how I feel right now.
Once you are able to acknowledge those feeling’s presence, there are 2 ways you can go about it,
1. Say a positive affirmation -
This is the affirmation that I use -
I know my mind is running wild and I have so much to worry about.
But I accept it and I love myself.
I know everything that I am going through now is helping me to gain clarity and faith.
I trust that I am on a right direction to find my truth.
I am and I will.
You might not believe these words when you say it but just say it, allow these flow of positivity entering your mind and your soul subconciously. You need to give it some space within you so the transformation can happen.
2. Journal your emotion -
This might not be the first time you see the word “ journalling” popping up and I am telling you, it works. It is how I first started my journey of “Connecting to Self” - by jotting down my thoughts and my emotions.
You feel like writing is not for you?
Write 1 page at a time.
Write on your phone notes, your notebook, your laptop or even record an audio note.
The purpose of this is to allow yourself to hear or read your thought and catch it in a form that you can “observe”.
We have heard about meditation in which instead of entertaining your own thoughts when it comes, you should just observe it. My response used to be “Huh? How?
So, think of journalling as a warm-up exercise for “observing your thoughts”.
Just write anything that comes to your mind, don’t pay attention to the grammar, the spelling, or anything else.
Let those thoughts flow freely because that is when your subconscious mind is coming through and reveal your true emotions. Underneath of all those overthinking, overanalyzing lies a truth about you - fear of expectation, fear of failing or fear of judgment. Face that fear, it’s a part of you. Be friend with it before you want to transform it
The not-so-good side of an overthinking and overly anxious mind is that it causes unnecessary anxiety, portraying a story that does not even exist. But the good thing is once you transform it, it helps you to gain clarity quickly. It allows you to be a non-judgemental person and connect with people easily.
It allows you to see slices of life, and slices of personal traits in multiple dimensions.
It allows you to accept people’s flaws easier because those flaws exist in you too and you have learned how to face, accept and love them.
You know that thoughts and emotions are a part of you but they don't define you as a person.
You choose to stay true to yourself which allows you to see beauty and greatness in you, and in others.
We think that we should only celebrate and embrace posivity, clarity, kindness, calmness and all so-called good state of mind. We want to hide away those negative emotions and feeling shamed to even owning those emotions.
But they are all parts of you.
Love your bad days as much as your good ones.
I was on a call with a young lady the other day, and she wanted to learn how to stay away from negativity.
The thing is we need those Yin Yang balance in life. In every light there is darkness, and in every darkness there is light. Instead of pushing away negativity, asking for space so that you can welcome more positivity in your life.
“What can I do to invite even just 1% more of positivity in my day?”
“What can I do to feel even just 1% more of calmness in my day?”
Your transformation might takes days, weeks or years. It might look very different with others, and that’s okay.
Stay true to yourself. Own your emotions.
Transformation does not happen from busy doing things or reading books of self-development.
Transformation happens when you love yourself more.
Be your own anchor.